I OWE IT TO HER.

I OWE IT TO HER

One of the advantages of being single is you are a person of your own. You decide when to sleep (no obligatory night calls), you decide if and when you need to recharge your phone (no obligatory calls), you decide if you wanna sleep in on February 14, or you don’t even remember the day. All these and many more pleasures I enjoy in my life right now but then I realised something, I really cannot do anything I want. There is a girl out there that I’m going to get married to someday and I owe it to her to live my life right, right now.

I owe it to her to love God and get better acquainted with him. If I’m going to be the priest over my house, if I’m going to be her teacher, then I owe it to her to get in the word. It will be a huge disappointment if I cannot answer her questions about God, faith and the word. I owe it to her to be a pastor even now when I don’t have a congregation. I owe it to her.

I owe it to her to develop my character and my personality. Forget romance, can she be friends with me? Am I the kind of guy she would leave with her Dad for a whole day and not wonder if I was screwing things up? She’s going to entrust her life to me, I owe it to her to be the best person I can be. I am going to be the father of her kids someday, will she be able to trust me to raise them as godly children and solid, productive citizens of the nation? I have to be that man she can put her confidence in. I owe it to her.

I owe it to her to build my financial empire. A queen does not live in a dump, and that is exactly what she is –a queen. I owe it to her to learn all the laws of money and finance and put them to practice. She must not have to work day and night because I am not able to meet our needs, she must not. And when I eventually get her that Mercedes, it must not drain my account. I owe it to her.

I owe it to her to learn to help my Mom in the kitchen even though I have three sisters. She must not feel like a house help or a slave in her home, this means I must start to practice helping women out in the house. I must learn to wash my plates instead of just dumping them in the kitchen and I must learn to wash my own toilet instead of begging my sisters to help me with it. She is supposed to be my ‘help-meet’ but I must learn to be her greatest helper. I owe it to her.

I owe it to her to have a great body and good health. It might mean doing more of those sit-ups and push-ups or even spending money at a gym but I need to get myself into a great shape. If I’m going to have pot-belly when I’m fifty, she should be able to look at it and say “That was my creation”. I must learn to groom myself right, have the right amount of hair on my face, wear just the right amount of orange (which mostly would be none). She must be proud to show me to her friends. I owe it to her.

All these I have to do, not for myself but for her because at the end of the day she’s going to be one with me and all these I would have done for myself.

                                                                                                                                                Lord Josh.

Is Brother Right really right?

Is Brother Right really right?


If he says he is a brother and he says all he wants is your waist, he’s telling the truth about one thing. – Mahatma Ghandi, 2012.


And with that wise quote from the Indian sage, I introduce my post for today. There are a lot of brothers in the world and you are currently involved with one or will be at a future point in your life. The question is, are you involved with the right kind of brother? Just in case you didn’t know, I’m not talking about blood brothers. You get right? You don’t? Alright, by brothers I mean boys, dudes, men.
Okay, now that we are on the same page, let’s go to more serious issues. Who is the right guy for you? Well, I can fast and pray for one hundred days and I won’t be able to redeem a brother for you. (Please, please, please, I hope this qualifies as a pun, you know the fasting and RCCG. :D ) Okay, I can’t decide who is the right guy, only you can, but I can help guide to the right kind of guys.
Here are some things you should look at for in a guy. Five of em, feel free to add your own ideas in the comment section. They are not arranged in any order.
He is a leader worth following. That’s right, men are supposed to lead, in a relationship I mean and if you can’t follow him, just drop the whole relationship. He must be a man with dreams and aspirations, a man who knows where he’s going. Carefree, playful and cool guys can be attractive to you now, but in ten years, cool won’t be good enough.
The bible tells us how Christ is the husband of the church, husband-to-be, I would say. Your guy must treat you like Christ treats the church. That’s a tall order, I know but all he has to do is Love you. And I’m not talking emotional mushiness. Love encompasses a lot. He has to respect you, protect you, provide for you (easy on that o, don’t use Jesus as excuse to collect his whole salary). He even has to talk with you-I think men usually do that until they get married. :D You get my point, right? Thank you.
His hands don’t fondle, his eyes don’t travel, his mind doesn’t unravel. Your guy has to respect your body and know that until your wedding night, it belongs to the Holy Spirit alone. Shikena! He can’t even look in an anyhow way. At this point, I’ll like to say that you need to help him. He’s weak in this area and those blouses (you know the ones I’m talking about) and those shorts, (do u want to kill somebody?) won’t help him, so get rid of em. At least when he’s around.
He must spend more time with God than he does with you. Wait, before you go all Steven Seagal on me, I don’t mean what you think. I don’t mean he’ll spend fourteen hours praying and ten hours with you or anything like that. What I mean is this; you need a man who dwells in the presence of God all the time. If he values talking with you than he does talking with God, hard as it sounds, he’s not there yet. You want a man who like Isaac did for Rebecca can intercede for you and get results.
We all know about the Prov. 31 woman, but we really don’t know much about the man in that chapter. We know a few things about him though, and you should look for these in your own Proverbs 31 man. That’s assuming you are Proverbs 31 woman yourself.
(Verse 11) He trusts his lady. There’s no point to a relationship where there is no trust and this is a two way street by the way. If he doesn’t trust you, think again before he sees you hugging another guy and shoots him thinking he’s your secret boyfriend.
(Verse 23) He sits amongst the elders and he is known in the gates. He is a respected person. He isn’t the joker of the city. (Except it’s his job.) Sitting with the elders (wise people of all ages) implies that the kind of company he keeps is a good and a wise one.
(Verse 28) He praises her. Everybody loves to be praised. Note I did not say ‘flattered’. You want a guy who lifts you up with his words. If he is a guy that is too quick to judge you and slow to praise you – think again.
(Verse 30) He didn’t marry her for her beauty. Every guy wants a beautiful wife, anyone who says otherwise needs to get saved. But if all he sees in you is your perfect nose and bright red eyes (if that’s the sorta thing he’s into) then you need to step back and consider what you’re doing.
This post has been longer than I wanted, hope you picked one or two things.
And I secretly pray that any girl crushing on me wouldn’t read this. Yet. :-)  I’m a work in progress. Thanks for reading to the end. Be sure to drop your thoughts in the comments section.
-Lord Josh.